Marilyn Banks, Paths That Cross - MARILYN BANKS

BLOG : SELF HEALING -- BELIEVE IT AND IT WILL BE.

5/30/2014

Attack, devour and destroy those cancer cells through self-healing creative visualization.....
VISUALIZE HUNGRY PAC-MAN MOVING THROUGH THE CELLS, MOLECULES, AND ETHERS -- GOBBLING UP THE TERRORIST CANCER CELLS. DESTROYING THEM FOREVER.
Self healing power is produced in the mind and the power of belief - faith -- in the process.
Only doubt will/can cancel it out.

Stay in the HOPE. Keep the attitude positive, avoid any negativity that will pull your mood, thoughts, attitudes and perceptions down.
You are your thoughts. Your physical health and body literally feed off them.
You are the healer. Believe it and you will be. Disbelieve and you won't.

Stay positive. Keep only upbeat people and situations around you. Avoid any negativity that will pull your thoughts, mood, attitude, perceptions down.
Affirm to yourself over and over and over, every time you feel doubt set in, or fear, or anxiety.....: I lovingly release past hurts and disappointments. I choose to fill my thoughts, feelings, my life, my world with joy. I love and approve of myself.
I bring joy back to the center of my heart. I express love to myself, and all. Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, I am bringing into, and all through me, the pure, healing energy of joy.

I am safe. I am protected, I am a healer and I AM HEALING MYSELF.
I believe in miracles, and thus they are manifested for me.
I am a magnet and am pulling healing energies to me NOW.
I am healing myself...why? Because I can. I am in control.

"Waka-Waka-Waka-Waka-Waka-Waka-Waka"

BLOG: RED LIGHTs/GREEN LIGHTs, your time is coming

5/29/2014

Hang on, Sweetheart, your time is coming, and you've done nothing wrong. It's just not the right time, that's all, or perhaps the mix isn't right, or perhaps there's better "stuff" waiting for you to be read for it, grow into it....

Yes, it's all about the timing, and at this moment, in this time, it isn't right. Everything thing has purpose. It, or something better, will come. that's the promise.

So, my dear, In the meantime, what can you do to help yourself with all these extreme feelings of the intense let down and disappointment, of feeling rejected and betrayed and abandoned by The Universe?

First and most important: allow yourself the luxury of GRIEVING all of it -- all the disappointment and sadness, the hopelessness and powerlessness, but most importantly, the anger. Let it all be heard by feeling them. You will be just fine. But, you say, you are in pain. You hurt.

And I say, yes, for now.

Don't stuff them. Don't bury them alive so you don't have to feel them. It doesn't work that way. You'll have a living, breathing zombie that will keep surfacing over and over to get your attention, to tell you SOMETHING IS WRONG. Free them by giving them their voice. They are only FEELINGS. No more, no less.

Acknowledge what you are feeling -- don't judge them -- they are what they are -- but give yourself the needed permission to give them their voice. Hear them through, feel them out, talk nice to them... embrace them....wallow in them if that's what it takes, it's okay. They are only telling you that you are hurting and that you're as mad as hell about it. Well, it's true, isn't it? Sure it is.

So cry your lake of tears, stomp your feet and curse the gods for letting you down. It is okay. They're only words. Feel what you're feeling but get them expressed, so you can come to terms with them -- they have their say, they deflate, and they disburse. It's true. And then what? HOPE. Hope is on the horizon. Hope for something new, something better....but it'll be there.... and the patience to wait for them.

Yep, there's something good waiting out there for you when the timing is as it is supposed to be. Everything in it's own time and in it's own way.....The Universe has it's own natural right order....

Yes there is. Your 'job', your responsibility, is to take care of you, to listen and nurture yourself in an emotional time of need, to stay off your back with negative criticism and judgment, and help move yourself along on your incredible life journey.

PATIENCE, GRASSHOPPER.....

The time will come; you will be ready. In hindsight, you will see....you will understand....you will know....

And that's a promise.

:))

BLOG: THE DANCING WOMAN

5/20/2014

Recorded in my journal today:
Monday, May 19th, 2014

Josh and I have been walking the beach evenings, after dark, when it's quiet, few on the beach, and 'tis simply a lovely time to walk and to be alone.
He looks so forward to it. He's a hard case tho, so bull headed -- he reminds me more of a horse than a dog.

Anyway, we walked south, down to Chase's last nite, at least a couple miles I'd think...and it was dark by the time we turned to head back, quite dark. There ahead of us, I saw a dark willowy figure that looked to be twirling, and as we got closer, I realized it was the silhouette of a slender woman in a long flowing skirt, her dark hair piled on top of her head, and she was dancing in the surf. The sight looked mystical, and beautiful, and actually seemed quite surreal. Reminded me of the man walking the beach after a full moon ceremony with 'the sisters' at Sanibel some years back...saw him actually evaporate before my eyes, saw the ultra blue neon aura outline him as he transformed to black, and then was simply gone...yep, that's what she reminded me of, only she didn't disappear. She simply twirled and twirled and twirled in a spiral, her long slim arms elegantly outstretched over her head, her gaze focused on the starlit heavens, as her fluid movement flowed easily with the sea breeze.... So into her moment she was, she did not stop, nor slow down, nor acknowledge our presence, as we passed by her. She did not seem to know we were there to not only witness, but experience, her moment, too.

Ummm-hmmm, not able to see 5 ft in front of me in the darkened lateness of the night; the moon not yet having risen above the horizon to give any light – but there was no mistaking it. I clearly saw her. I saw the dark silhouhetted vision of a lovely feminine beauty, spiraling, twirling, as she danced her dance into the wind, framed against the darkest of the blue, and the white capped waves crashed to the shore. Caught in the emotion of her movement, it seemed a special moment for both of us.
If Josh saw her, he made not a sound, nor did he show it.....

Was she really there? Dunno.
Ah yes, but 'twas another special moment worthy of recording.
So very, very interesting.

[artwork by arianne lallone]

BLOG: A JOURNEY FOR SELF-AWARENESS

5/14/2014

Sounds good, but perhaps a bit easy, doesn't it? Especially when others have had a big hand in molding us into who we 'should' be:
"I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am."

So just who are you? Really and truly, down deep and dirty. Do you 'like' you? And I don't mean the popular over-used term, love, I am meaning like .... accept.... appreciate .... honor....the you that you are?

There's tons of motivating reads out there on being the 'authentic self', and it sounds great, but after we put the book down, just how do we tap into that well of elusive self- awareness hiding some place deep inside us?

So take a survey on yourself, asking those who have been close to you, and not so close, who am I?
Step out there on that limb and ask your spouse or significant other who are you....ask your kids ..... ask your parents and siblings .... ask your best friends and not-so-best-friends...ask your favorite teacher and the one who didn't know you existed.....ask an enemy or two....see who it is they think you are. Will they all share the same opinion of this person? What adjectives did they use describing you as to who, and how, you are, and if you are 'likeable'.....? Most likely they all a different version of who you are.
However, actually, it matters not a whit what any of them think. Your authentic self counts only in your own eyes. Your sense of worthiness is yours to evaluate. Am I true to myself? You find and follow your own code of truth, and others will follow.

The bottom line is, do you like you? And make no mistake, we know. If we dodge the question because we do not like what we know, then we have to ask, 'why not?' and 'just what can I do to change?' Before we can accept being our 'true' self, we have to do some honest self-work. We have to take a close look at who we've been, and how we've lived, asking, probing, questioning...evaluating, culling out the chaff....and is it an honest reflection of who I really am?
And the journey into self discovery begins.

Easy said, easy read? Sure it is. However, it is more than a possibility. Answers to our questions are waiting to be discovered, and with a new understanding, and acceptance, we are able to put the past where in needs to be, behind us, and move on to positive new beginnings, with new outcomes. Healthy, Confident, Happy and Contented.... Why? Because it's not life that's changed, we have.
Oh yes, it can be done.
Life is good and so it is. :))

You are not alone. We can walk the journey for self-awareness and personal empowerment together: individual coach/counseling sessions; weekly meditation classes; workshops and seminars for self-awareness and personal empowerment
Contact Marilyn. www.HolisticCoachAndCounsel.com

BLOG: US, LIFE, AND THE MIRRORED EFFECT .....

5/12/2014

Whatever is happening on our inside -- thoughts, feelings, attitudes and perceptions -- will be reflected on our outside, or that which we know as being reality, the outer world. Inside, outside. It's as simple as that.

We are a mirror. Think about it.
If we feel good about ourselves -- and believe it -- we pull to us the people, and life circumstances, that validate our goodness.  If we have a negative attitude about ourselves, or of life, we will be presented with the people, situations and circumstances, to reveal the same, in this case the negativity.  Make no mistake. The mirroring effect is not a judgment call, but merely an honest reflection of where we are and what we are doing within ourselves.  It is focused, concentrated energy of our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, actions, attitudes and perceptions . It's ours to evaluate

What we put out, is what we get back, and it is the workings of the natural Law of Attraction -- physics -- of what we think, how and when we think it, and to the degree of the intent and belief empowering them.  The state of ourselves is revealed to us, and anyone else astute enough to be in the know, through the manifestation of our personal relationships, life circumstances and situations.  Do we take heed by stopping long enough for an earnest look at just exactly what's going on in there? Usually not, but it is usually because we are not aware of the interior dynamics. Once we know it, understand it, we have no excuse.

It takes some honest self-analysis. What do we want? Happiness? Contentment? Acceptance? Love? Appreciation? Before we can live it, we have to become it....and as we change the out inner process, watch the validating mirrored manifestation begin, right before your eyes, and your heart. Nice.

:))))
(art work of Jan James.)

BLOG: PICKING UP THE PIECES OF THE SELF AND MOVING ON

5/9/2014

I've had interesting conversations over the last week with a young woman who currently at a pivotal point of a major lifestyle change. Will she bite the bullet and go through with it? As a preface to this piece, I worked as a counselor and group facilitator in a woman's shelter for several years, and her story is a familiar one.
She lives with an abuser, is the mother of a pre-schooler, and caught in a maze with only minimal work abilities, and no healthy survival skills. ..she says she wants to 'get out of here', but is clueless as to how, nor does she have the necessary confidence in herself, or life, that she could possibly take on the total responsibility of not only her child, but herself. She does not realize that she is already doing it. The husband has total control over her -- withholding all financial support, and with his constant belittling and demeaning rants, her self-confidence, and respect, sits at zero -- emotionally and financially, she is held hostage.
None of this is new. The story is old -- different names, but the picture is the same.

It is easy for those of us not in the same difficult situation to sit back on our haughty haunches and critically ask: why do you stay?! Easy say, easy does? Nope, not quite.
There is always more than meets the eye to the complex situation such as this, much more than can be recorded in a blog such as this...such as defining our concept of what love is, our habits and emotional/relationship addictions, not to mention the chemical toxicities such as alcohol and/or drugs....etc.

However, it is to understand that this woman, and others, do not have the self-confidence that they CAN leave, and so continue choose to live in a valley of fear -- fear of the husband, fear of the consequences if they DO leave, fearing of the responsibility of making a drastic mistake, but most of all, it is the overwhelming factors of facing the abyss of a future unknown.

Always the optimist, they stay, hoping against hope he will come to his senses and miraculously change becoming the prince she's always wanted, praying the chaotic situation will simply melt away as Dorothy's green wicked witch in Oz did and then they can will live happily ever after....
Unfortunately, it does not work that way. In fact, the crisis lifestyle cycle generally worsens, repeating itself over and over, only occurring in shorter spans of time -- his perpetual mentally/psychologically message, berating her of her worthlessness, that she definitely does not deserve him, and she could never make it out there on her own without him -- 'if it weren't for me you'd in the streets....'. And his heaviest artillery? He will make certain she will lose custody of her children.
And she believes him. He has her convinced. She's a loser....or so she thinks of herself.
So she stays, and does whatever it takes to not upset the apple cart, to not make waves, nothing to upset him or the household....and always, always, hoping she can fix the situation.

When she finally reaches out, asks for help -- with good counsel and encouragement, with positive feedback and basic education about abuse, with the insight that she can help herself and her child(ren) -- perhaps she will leave. It is her choice -- as is her decision to stay -- which is not unusual. The idea of change is a dream; actually setting it in motion is too much to handle.

Statistics tell us it takes her an average of leaving seven times before making the final break. Although even though she goes back, each time she leaves again, she gains a little more confidence in herself; each time mustering up more courage and foresight validating that she CAN leave, and that she really can make a new life for herself and her family. Yes. It can be done. The journey is an intense one, as it pulls, and severs, a tremendous number of emotional strings. It is not easy, but the destination of self respect and confidence is well worth it.

Our concepts of self-worthiness and our being lovable is a learned one, generally programmed within us at an early age. Life is a mirror. It is to understand that through our judgments and choices we make, we are choosing our life circumstances and situations -- literally our realities and our futures -- whether for the good or ill, and in these circumstances we will remain until we are ready to do what it takes to make the positive changes for our life.

As counselors, we, too, are eternal optimists....always hopefully she will get her belly full enough that she refuses to take more of it, that she has the will to pick up her family and escape the toxic emotional/psychological/financial confinement and move in a direction that leads to a healthy, fulfilling life for all of them. Greener grasses are waiting out there in front of her, if she so chooses to come out of the cave to see it.... And then, of course, if she has learned to think enough of herself that she does not need to run to another for more of the same.
:))

BLOG: "HERE IS A TEST TO FIND WHETHER YOUR MISSION ON EARTH IS FINISHED: IF YOU ARE ALIVE, IT ISN'T." RICHARD BACH/ILLUSIONS

5/8/2014

The one thing I hear over and over in workshops, in groups, and individual sessions, has to do with our 'test' in life, 'fulfilling' our mission and not wanting to 'miss' our path. The answer? We will not, and cannot, miss our chosen path. The key word is 'chosen', and as along as we have the desire, the courage, and the commitment to live responsibly to the self-truth as we learn it, we cannot go wrong -- whichever 'path' we chose to follow. We will end up in the same place, perhaps just taking a detour every now and then.
The day we are finished with learning what we have come to learn in this particular life experience, is the day we make our exit. It is not a physical decision, but one that is made at the soul level.

Every day that we are living on this dimension, on this Earth, we have ample opportunities to learn -- it could be something as simple as learning to enjoy this place, enjoy the connection we have with it, through the people, the animals and various critters, the breathing of the planet itself. It could be we are here to learn to love -- or allow ourselves to be loved -- in the way that we need it. It could be that we are here to accept, tolerate, appreciate, and respect the differences between ourselves and others -- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually....
It could even be something as simple as to live life and utilize our natural talents and abilities for expression.

On a deeper level, it could be that we are here to learn to love ourselves, and not allow anyone to trod over us, to hurt us, to demean or depreciate the delicacy of who we are -- learn to overcome early negative programming, put it aside by standing up for the self and moving on, never allowing it to occur again -- only to vibrate to a higher octave self-approval and acceptance and improving the quality of life. A test? Perhaps...

Or on the other side of that same coin, just as importantly, perhaps it is to learn to recognize that we have become the abuser, and it is to correct the early negative programming, learn that it's okay to put down the heavy handed sword protecting the heart, and to expose that vulnerable soft-side of the self that is, and always has been, within.

We could be here to learn through life circumstances to sit down and shut up, or stand up and speak up. We know which it is we need to do.....

Life is a self-help opportunity to learn, to grow and evolve into becoming whatever it is that our soul-level dictates of us...and like it or not, sooner or later we comply.
Do we 'fail'? Nope. 'Tis true, due to our irresponsible choices, judgements and behaviors, over lifetimes we can delay the 'graduation', or perhaps be demoted to replay the 'grade' again and again until we 'get it' -- not all that different than is amusingly portrayed in "Groundhog Day" .... however the Universe is patient, and eventually we evolve.

The Law of Cause and Effect, more commonly known as KARMA, does not judge -- it gives us our 'just reward' that we have earned by our past and present deeds, actions, non-actions, attitudes and perceptions that we live by...always giving us opportunity to relearn and reprogram the consciousness to express, and live, in a way that reflects the higher vibrated light of our soul.

So let's keep it simple -- just live to love, enjoy, appreciate, and be responsible to the self -- and others. It is not a test, it is a lifestyle. Sooner or later, we will get there. It is okay, and all is well. Truly is. :))

COWBOY UP AND TAKE THE RISK ......

5/7/2014

Fear is an illusion -- it is merely our imagination running rampant, scaring us silly about something that COULD happen -- in the negative of course -- and always with the worst outcome, yes?

Working through the process:
What do I want for me and what change(s) would it take to achieve it? What would be the consequences? Is it worth the risk?

Overwhelmed with what it'll take to do what would need to be done?
Halt. Don't go 'out there' feeding the fears in an imaginary scenario...stay in the moment and climb that potential ladder one step at a time. If in the end it does not work out as we had envisioned? Well, at least we tried, and now we know. If it does work out? Well,, well, well, how about that? We did it.

Bottom line: Think it through. Balance the heart and the head.
Still want it? What's the loss in trying? Go for it.

BLOG: EMPOWERING BELIEF SYSTEMS

5/6/2014

It is true. Thoughts, feelings, attitudes and perceptions are focused energy, and whether we are aware of them or not, the nature of our belief systems create our reality. Happy, sad, frustrated, difficult, up-beat or down. If we believe life is difficult, it will be. And, for whatever the reason, whatever it is we 'get' from it, if we believe in the necessity of struggle, then struggle will be created. Why? We create our expectations because of our belief in their truth. We place our faith that them and so we expect it.
We have the power to change our reality by becoming aware of the nature of our feelings, thoughts, attitudes and perceptions -- and changing them.
Murphy's Law? Believe in it and we empower it to be ours to deal with.
And so it is. :))

A "RANT" ON EXPECTATIONS AND INTENT .....

5/5/2014

I've been in the company of a unique,creative, exciting, and ambitious woman of late; a woman who has been self employed in sales for many years. She has recently made a major geographical move and, in her own way, is having to start over again creating interest in herself and what she has to offer. However, it is not working in her favor as she had hoped, and she is counting on.
As a life coach, teacher, and a practitioner of well-being, her problem is obvious to me: She is meeting her expectations. Oh yes, her intent is to succeed, but in her heart, she fears -- knows -- she will not. And there it is. Her belief is stronger than her intent, and the negativity behind that belief dominates, producing her expectations.

Thus, I offer this slogan as the 'secret' to success....success with anything we do in life. My friend has a chronic habit of negative thinking -- probably learned from early environment and practice -- and thus, pulls negativity to her, and in this example, it is disappointment. Our ego loves to be right -- and with failure we hear that familiar voice in our head: "I knew I couldn't do it...."

It is a simple concept, but one that is difficult to diagnose in ourselves unless we sit back and listen to what we say, aware of what our thoughts are telling us, and observe our actions. And then we have to change it -- one thought at a time. We have to catch ourselves in the process of thinking, and when it is working against us, we have to cancel it -- literally -- and rethink what it is we are wanting. It can be done, but since we are the only one living in our head, we are the one and only who can change it -- and follow through.
More later on this, of this I am certain.
Have a good day and a healthy, happy, productive, and contented week.
::))

JUST DO IT .....

5/2/2014

ON ACCEPTANCE AND LETTING GO .....

5/1/2014