Marilyn Banks, Paths That Cross - MARILYN BANKS

TO LET GO

7/23/2017

TO LET GO…..
To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off,
it is the realization I cannot control another.

To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it is to make the most of myself.

To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging outcomes,
but to allow other to affect their destinies.

To let go is not to be protective,
it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less,
and love more.

THE LIGHTWORKERS ARE HERE, AND THEIR ROLES

5/16/2017

ELEVEN TYPES OF LIGHT WORKERS

While you may feel called to serve and care for those around you, the term Lightworker may be one you hesitate to fully connect with. This term may bring to mind overly new age individuals, preaching their views of spirituality to large audiences, saving large crowds of people with a single inspirational talk.

While some may choose to use their gifts in a very public way, others take a more ‘behind the scenes approach’. There are several different types of lightworkers operating around us each and every day, helping to serve and bring peace to those that they encounter. Many of these individuals live what we would see as completely ‘normal’ lives – holding down a corporate job, living in your neighborhood, driving a modest vehicle.
You don’t have to be in the spotlight to bring positivity to the world around you. That doesn’t diminish your journey and purpose in any way!

Each of these Lightworker types play a very important role:

Wayshowers: Wayshowers have found their own inner peace, and live their life in a way that sets an example for others who wish to follow in their footsteps. They may not be actively trying to teach and share their gift, but by simply being themselves and continuing in their own journey they help to bring peace to those that are following their example.

Healers: There are many different forms of healing, and those that identify as healers may focus on one, or many, in their efforts to serve all souls and beings including humanity and the animal kingdom. They may find themselves called to focus on mental, emotional, physical or spiritual healing. These individuals recognize the importance of prioritizing their own self-healing to be able to share their gift with others.

Messengers: Messengers receive guidance from Spirit, and their job is to relay this message to humanity. The way in which they choose to share this message may differ, employing a variety of mediums including blogging, writing, public speaking and Youtube. Regardless of how they choose to share it, their message is an important step in the awakening process and needs to be heard.

Dreamers: Lightworkers who act as dreamers are able to tune into the alternate dimensions of experience available only through dream space. They can understand and interpret the various imagery that comes through to them in their dreams, analysing what that means for themselves and those that they encounter in our current reality. Dream-time allows one to connect with your higher self, bringing back messages from the angels that they feel you need to know at this current stage in your journey.

Divine Lightkeepers: Divine lightkeepers have the very important task of embodying the light. During times of turmoil in our world, these individuals will in turn share the light that they have embodied, uplifting humanity and neutralizing the chaotic events around us. They are the support in times of trial that allow humanity to move forward into more peaceful times.

Seers, Psychics, Clairvoyants: Seers, Psychics and Clairvoyants have been able to connect with those beyond the veil, opening their third eye. They can see beyond the physical, embodying the ability to provide readings or services to those that seek guidance, inspiration or empowerment.

Ascension Guides: These lightworkers are actively working towards ascension in their own lives, and sharing the process with those that feel called to learn more. They are hands on, still in the learning process themselves, connecting at various stages of this journey in their lives, from the initial struggle to overcome their own struggles through to the final steps and the peace they feel as they continue to ascend.

Transmuters: Transmuters carry the important task of transforming negative energies, neutralizing past karma and keeping balance throughout humanity. While some transmuters will work in a broader scope, others have a specific focus for their gifts, such as being born into a family with a long history of negative karma that requires their healing touch.

Divine Blueprint Creators and Manifestors : Divine Blueprint Creators and Manifestors are not only travelling through the journey of ascension, but in doing so they are able to bring back ideas in which they can weave light to promote positive change, enhancing the lives of those that are also joining them on this journey. They have moved past the need to work for self interest, and instead focus on the highest interest of all.

Divine Blueprint Holders: All lightworkers carry a divine blueprint for their fully awakened self. Divine Blueprint Holders are able to tune into this template. Their ability to tune into this template, and share it with those around them brings about ascension in the present moment – sharing this code though the human heart grid.

Gridworkers and Gatekeepers: Interdimensional gates exist in various capacities in the world, providing an opportunity to connect and share with other awakened humans, allowing higher levels of light to descend upon us. Gridworkers and Gatekeepers are responsible for working these grids including the human heart grid (connecting the hearts of all awakened humans), the crystalline grid and other higher energetic grids, and those that lay along lines on the earth connecting sacred sites.Regardless of which of these gifts you connect with, your roll as a lightkeeper is an important one! You may change roles, or grow to connect with one above all others. Only you can connect with your own inner self and discover what you feel called to do throughout your unique journey.

Earth We Are One
www.ewao.com

2017 - A 'ONE' YEAR - A YEAR OF NEW BEGINNINGS

12/31/2016

"This year is all about new beginnings.
Last year we released the past, and now we are ready to walk into a wonderful new future.
That future is bright.
That future is fun.
That future is filled with health, wealth, and bursts of creativity.
That future is waiting for us with open arms.
Let's embrace it"
Louise Hay


A DANCING STAR AND THE MAN 0N THE BEACH

12/26/2016

I tell a true story that had years ago, will be twenty in Feb or March, Sanibel Island FL at a Wise Woman workshop, and after a potent (and I do mean intense) full moon ceremony on the beach. When it was finished, a few of we gals stayed behind, sitting in the sand some distance back from the beach, a couple or three of them quietly talkin' in the back, and the other three of us were in front of them, sitting on the sand, taking in the energies of the Gulf after the incredible ceremony. Probably not quite midnight yet, the sky seemed especially black and was absent of stars, with the only light coming from the big moon that we had just finished celebrating. Oblivious to those sitting behind us, we three were watching a pulsating light sitting high in the sky over the water, a stationary bright light dancing about in the same spot for the longest time.

It was soon after that I saw the man wearing a poncho and a rather wide brimmed hat slowly walking the shoreline, looking to perhaps being South American, although at the time I thought Peru.

Not saying anything, I watched him pass by. I did not mention seeing him, nor did anyone else say anything about it either. We were sitting back far enough from the water's edge that he would not have known we were there. A bit of time passed, how much I don't know, just as it is when relaxed, feeling good, and happy after a night of good events with the ambiance of waves coming in and going out. Some time had passed though when I saw him coming back our direction. Stopping directly in front of us, he turned to gaze out over the ocean, and as he did his crown chakra opened and a stunning light- blue aura with bright pulsating sparkles sprinkled throughout it emerged from the top of his head, spreading upward toward the sky. It was a huge energy-field. I thought at the time, “wow..that must be what our aura looks like when we see something so awesomely beautiful, or that we love” ….. (I see auras, but never one such as that one was; not before, not since). It seemed to me he was watching that bright moving light in the black sky. He stood watching for no more than a minute or so, and then he turned, swiftly walking in the direction he had originally come from when I initially saw him. With only the full moon giving any light, I began seeing a bright blue light that looked to be a neon, "drawing" an outline around his body, and as it did so, inside the neon outline, the physical form of the body turned black, black and having depth as a deep hole does. Neon outline, no body mass. As I watched, I distinctly remember being calm – as if I saw something like this every day – and the thought that struck me was from Star Trek, “beam me up Scotty”. I also remember reprimanding myself for what my eyes were telling me I was witnessing, “what are you seeing this time, Marilyn?”, literally shaking my head at my ludicrousy, I looked away. Well, by this time I could not look, and glanced back for more, and it was too late He had already left.

Well, we all rather atypically quietly made our way back to the house, and being on a natural high after such a potent moon ceremony, and feeling so good. I was wired, and sure not ready for sleep, so I went out to the pool lani, where one of the other gals joined me. She was not able to sleep either. Both of us strangely quiet, and not saying all that much, untill she finally broke the silence by rather quietly asking if I had seen that guy walking on the beach (did I pick up a hesitation with that question?, I wondered), and I answered that yes, I had seen him. She said she had a strong feeling that he had simply disappeared. Vanished from sight.
A realization was setting in and I do believe I spun out of my body, realizing what I had seen with the pulsating star, the man's sparkly blue enormous aura, and then "beam me up Scotty". Oh yes, it all made complete sense now. It was his craft, and he was contacting his people to get him back on it. He was there and then he was not. Now absent too, was a dancing light hanging in the dark sky. As excited as we were at the time, strangely none of us mentioned anything about it to our mentor/facilitator, psychic healer and trance channel, Anne Cataldo. It was not until the day before we were to leave the workshop for home that there was a final event, a channeling circle with Anne at the helm with her ever so wise guidance, Simon, and I finally found my tongue to ask about “the man on the beach”. Without hesitations, we were told that he was from another time and space, and that he was particularly fond of this beach, and periodically came as a hologram to walk it and enjoy the beauty of the place. He said he was invisible to the eye, and he was more than surprised when he realized we were watching him. He left in a hurry.

Flash forward from March 1997 to Dec 2016. I bring this up because a friend just sent me a video she took with her phone outside her home in the Netherlands sometime over the last week. It is a video of a familiar dark night and a dancing light bobbing in the sky, seeming to be an identical twin to the light seen just short of its twentieth anniversary.
Can it be? Could it have been, then? Is it possible? Once again, as I am prone to say every now and then, I dunno.

ENCORE: HEALING FOR THE SELF AND OTHERS

11/20/2016

"Healing can take place instantaneously if there is recognition of the truth of what has caused the illness.
So the illness is without exception, a somatizing of that which the consciousness has been unwilling to receive.

Illness is a teaching, a message from the soul.
When the lessons are learned the illness becomes a thing of no moment.
Illness is the confusion of that particular soul manifesting physically so that the consciousness will see it." per Emmanuel

Recently I discovered that a beloved soul-sister has developed breast cancer. Healer that she is, I have no doubt whatsoever that she will be able to heal this disease. However, it tells me that it is a time to write once again about the miraculous healings with the White Light, and so, lazy that I am, I include an excerpt of something I have already written!

The following is taken from one of a series of radio programs I hosted several years ago on Holistic Globe Radio, the episode entitled "Physician Heal Thy Self", regarding the self-healing energies of the White Light.

                                           “Physician, heal thyself”
We all have the abilities to self-heal. The answer is in the power behind intent.
'For those who were looking outside themselves for answers, for happiness, for healing, it was once said some two thousand years ago: “Physician, heal thyself”
As I reflect back on my own life, starting at the bottom of my earliest childhood memories, to when I was just a little kid with the stuffiest of noses, and a heavily congested chest accompanied by a nasty cough. If I close my eyes, and get so very still, I can put myself in that comfy bed in my bedroom of long, long ago, the air thick with a warm, moist, misting from the vaporizer, its fragrant eucalyptus aroma still present in my memory.

And just before bedtime, I remember my father’s warm hands rubbing the mentholated salve around my throat and deep into my chest because my nose was so stuffy it was hard to breathe. I can still feel the heat from the rubbing, rubbing, of my chest and my back, as it penetrated into my lungs, and it felt so good. By morning the cold was gone. I could breathe, and I would be fine once again. It was the annual winter ritual my sisters and I would go through when we came down with the dreaded seasonal colds, and I do not think we gave it much thought about it at the time, other than the great confidence we had in our daddy fixing us. To this day, when I smell the Vicks salve, and I hear the soft hissing from a vaporizer, it takes me back to those special times.

The last year of his life had not been easy from a surgically botched hip replacement, and while he was in rehab, he was told there was a big chance he would not walk on it again. By this time, I was well aware of this man’s unique healing abilities, well aware of the energies that worked through his hands (which, by the way, he never really owned up to having), but it was obvious to those of us who knew him and watched through the years.

I remember visiting him when he was mentally and emotionally trying to adjust to the diagnosis, and we talked quietly about healing, and I say quietly, because at that time, my mother was never a believer in such things. Actually, I think the idea of it rather frightened her. Just before it was time for me to be kicked out of there, I made a point to tell him that he could heal himself, that he had the ability to do it. I remember him getting quiet, which was his way when he did not know what to say, and I left. For some reason I do not remember, I went back to his room and slightly opened the door. His back was to me and he was slowly running his hands along his upper thigh, and repeating his mantra over and over: I can heal myself, I can heal myself…
I slowly backed out, lightly closing the door behind me. He never knew I had seen him. And he did walk on that leg. Oh yes he did.

Stay with me now, there is a reason behind this, I promise.

I started this off with my dad rubbing the salve over our congested lungs, and by morning we were all okay. We healed fast. In later years when I had my own small children all stuffed up with their colds, and sometime during the wee hours they would make their way down the long hallway to my room, and pile in bed with me. I can still remember them planting their ice cold little feet on my warm legs….I can also still hear their coughing, and congested breathing, and stuffed noses as I automatically rolled over on my side, and wrapped them close to my warm body, placing my hands squarely over their chest. I would mentally think hot, hot, hot, and visualized hot coals in my hands that penetrated deep into their chests, as we would drift back to sleep. I did this not for any healing, but as an idea to warm them up. By the time we woke up in the morning, their chests were clear. Their stuffiness was gone. It never failed. I always attributed it to keeping them warm. I never, thought about healing energies coming from my hands, and emanating from my body.  I never did, because I did not know there was such a thing.

As I reflect back on those instances, and there were plenty of them, but I suppose these are the ones I hold close to my heart, most especially those healing abilities my father always had. All throughout my life there were instances of kids and pets that he “made all better”, and we never really thought anything of it at the time, about those hands that my mother said were warm for as long as she had known him.

                                                    ~~~

"Healing can take place instantaneously if there is recognition of the truth of what has caused the illness.
So the illness is without exception, a somatizing of that which the consciousness has been unwilling to receive.
Illness is a teaching, a message from the soul.
When the lessons are learned the illness becomes a thing of no moment.
Illness is the confusion of that particular soul manifesting physically so that the consciousness will see it." Per Emmanuel

So, the causes of many of our diseases, illnesses, even sprained and broken bones, are actually caused by some type of emotional dis-ease on an unconscious level and threaten health the most ... fears, anxieties, doubt, worry….and grieving. Never, never underestimate the clout behind repressed grieving. By avoiding feeling the acute pain caused by loss can end up being a killer in itself.

One of my first what I call real validations I received for myself about self-healing, came when my youngest son was in ROTC in college, and it was the summer he was flying down to Texas for the boot camp for the young cadet officers-to-be.  He was so excited as he readied himself for the flight the next day, and I was working with a particularly negative client, and did not have the time to think about his leaving. Suddenly, quite unexpectedly, I turned my ankle, spraining it badly enough that as the day went on, I could not any weight on it. Nothing helped to alleviate the pain, or the swelling, no matter what I did, or how much I worked on it. I was in dire pain.

By the time my husband and I saw Brian off at the airport the next day, I was in bad shape, and so irked at myself for allowing myself to get into such a jam, of ego, ego, ego....blah, blah, blah...I relentlessly scolded myself as I practically crawled into the airport to see my son off on his journey..

As I watched him disappear through the big door -- these were the days before airport security -- I watched him walk from the gate out to the Air Force jet waiting at the tarmac some distance out from the terminal, and I did not see a twenty year old anymore, but my four year old boy making his way out there all alone. As he entered the black hole of the big craft, he turned to flash his beautiful smile and wave, and he disappeared into the craft. Reality hit me head-on, and without any warning, emotion took over and I burst into serious sobbing. As excited as he was about going, and as happy as I was for him, My heart knew that when returned, he woud be changed. I watched his jet taxi off and fly into the clouds until I could not see it anymore, and then we turned to leave, and walked away. Yep, I said walked. I suddenly realized that my injured ankle hurt no more. The pain was gone, the swelling had disappeared. The ankle was fine. I practically had to be carried into the place, but walked out as normally as it had ever been.

It was one of those a-ha moments and quite a revelation to me. The wrenched foot actually had nothing to do with my state ofo mind over a client. No, not at all. It went far, far deeper than that. The ankle has to do with my the inflexibility of my thinking, and an inability to walk forward with trust and ease. I had been in deep denial as to what was emotionally going on inside of me, avoiding the grief I was obviously feeling -- not of my son’s departure -- but of his growing up. He was leaving 'home'. And, I was right. He did not return as that boy I was seeing off, but a young man.

                                                       ~~~

The same person who turned me onto meditation, also enlightened me as to using the protective, healing powers of the White Light, abilities that we all have; the same healing energy that was used by Christ, the light depicted as a halo painted by the ancient artists.

I remember when a suspicious spot was found inside her, a biopsy had come back confirming its malignancy, and the surgical date was set to go for removal. Naturally, she was nervous about the find, and worked on it with the White Light. The surgery day came, but the spot was gone. Vanished. It had completely disappeared, leaving no sign of its presence.

Knowing the gentle ways, and talents, of ths calm, gentle elder, her doctor asked: " Lou? Did you do this?"
And….she smiled….

You can do this. Yes, you can. Intend it, think it, get out of your own way and allow the energies to pass through you, and it will be.

THE EULOGY OF A FRIEND

8/31/2016

The Eulogy of a Friend
A journal entry, February 1987

It is winter, and it is cold. The chilling kind of cold that keeps me from feeling any warmth. It is quiet except for the cat meowing at the door asking, demanding, to be let inside; and the purring of the clothes dryer, as it tumbles round and round.

And I am crying. Crying not on the outside but deep from within. I am crying because I am losing a piece of myself that I am sure others close to me will not miss, but I will. The “Scarlett O'Hara” within me is disappearing just as the old ways of her life in the old south faded into the past for her.

I will miss her. She has been my ally I could always count on throughout my life. She has been my passion, my fire and my spirit. When needed, her anger was my courage and my strength. Without her I am afraid I will be vanilla with no distinction or color or zest. I am losing a dear friend, a vital piece of my heart. And so, yes, I cry.

I suppose it is time for her departure and something better will rise from her ashes, but I am not so sure her leaving will not leave an unfulfilled void within that can ever again be replenished. “Scarlett” was my fight for life itself. I can feel “Melanie” taking over with her love and compassion for others, flamboyant in her own quiet way. She, too, was strong and determined, but plain and simple in her methods and mannerisms. I guess I want to be this way, and I can probably achieve my same goals with the love, empathy, and compassion that has been emerging within me of late.

I know this change, this evolution, is not detrimental to me in any way, but it is as if my old friend “Scarlett” is being pulled out of me by her very roots, and she must be frightened for her soul as I hear her screams within, fighting every inch as she is being purged out of me.

And passion turns into compassion. “Melanie” will prevail with her quiet determination, and yes, it will be for my best. But “Scarlett”, my dear friend, I will miss your fire, your fervor and straight forwardness.
I will miss you, and I love you, and I thank you for being there when I needed you.
You will not be forgotten.

AWAKEN THE WISE WOMAN WITHIN - W0RKSHOP REGISTER NOW!!! OCT 12-16 2016

4/11/2016

YES! IT'S TIME TO THINK "WORKSHOP" FOR SELF GROWTH AND PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT!!

2/10/2016

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RACE IMPOSTORS: A CASE FOR REINCARNATION

6/19/2015

We've heard lots of chatter about various identity 'impostors', those who claim they are someone other than who/what they appear to be. Most recently it has been race and gender that's come to a very public front. However, anyone who believes in reincarnation, or, heaven forbid, has the audacity of admitting they remember living former lifetimes, has a keen understanding -- an awareness -- of how easy one could be 'stuck' in a particular race, or a gender, or even a religion or an era or place. For whatever the subconscious reason, they came into this life with the distinct memory of being being such, and still identify with it. It's not unusual at all. It is unusual, however, to be so obsessed with it to deny the present reality.

I can remember a time when I was quite young, and actually being on a search for my 'real mom'....and I let my present one know she wasn't it. There came a time she finally had enough of it, and in that authoritative 'mom voice' we all remember well, she told me: "Well, that's just too bad. You're stuck, with what you got, Kid."!!
I remember that, too! Now I wonder just who it was that was stuck with whom?!! My poor mother!

Nevertheless, it did not keep me from remembering, knowing, and even to this day, many decades later, am still aware of a number of living former lifetimes, including Native Indian ones.
The memory of these past lives has helped me put missing pieces together of patterns in the present one.

It's not unusual at all for us to have lived through hundreds of lifetimes in one way or another, having walked the walk of both genders, multiple races and religions, acting out various roles, having experienced the gambit of all emotions that include being abused as well as being the abuser; having been both the hated and the hater; been killed at the hands of another, as well as being the killer ourselves; we've lived and died with wars, plagues and illnesses, experienced earthly calamities. We've loved, we've lost, and we've grieved. We are sum total of our past....our entire past.
As does everything in God's unique universe, it has purpose.

You name it and most likely we've been there, experienced it, and all in the name of soul growth. Simply put, it's how we learn. By literally walking in the various shoes of mankind, we have discovered firsthand exactly how it feels to wear the shoe on the other foot. And we remember. If we don't -- well, we get to try it again...and again...until we do....and make no mistake, the time does come that we will.
And we call it Karma. The universal Law of Cause and Effect.
Does "Groundhog Day" come to mind?!

I have to laugh, being in the extremely interesting 'bizzness' that I've been in over the last thirty years -- the trance channeling, the meditation groups and workshops, and the past life regressions -- has included helping others overcome former lifetime(s) blocks that unconsciously have prevented them from moving forward in the present. They were born stuck in a past that no longer serves its purpose, and the memory needs to be freed and let go.
Yes, I've heard and seen it all.

I have friends who swear they have American Indian in their lineage -- would wager big bucks on it, that's how positive they are (remind you of a Massachusetts senator?) -- one in particular actually had DNA analysis to prove it to herself, and you can imagine her disappointment when the results came back saying she had not one iota of Native in her lineage.
Just why, you ask, is she so certain she did/does? Because the vivid memory of her identity is coming from a soul level. Her heart is as Native as it can be.... however, that life experience(s) is finished for her. Over.
The actualization of these races that are being remembered is not of, or for, this present life -- not for her and many others -- and there was a reason for it to be that way. It was a different era, with different events, with different thinkings and attitudes, and all of it making for different outcomes.
In their own way, they are grieving a memory of another time.

We are where we are, doing what we are doing, being what we are being for a reason. Everything has purpose and in the case of reincarnation, it is all about soul growth and evolution.

In the case of the two most recent publicized instances -- one professing to be Black, the other having distinguishable Native blood -- both having achieved some influential success because of their false claim, and yet most likely on some level, both are remembering living those races before, and feel out of place in the present White culture they were born. The same may be said for gender.

Well, as my wise ol' mama once said: "That's too bad. You're stuck with what you got, Kid"!
It is up to us to make the best of what and where we are now.
This is Earth. Deal with it.

BLOG: wHITE LIGHT, DEATH, AND THE SOUL

12/12/2014

The following is a response to an inquiry regarding trust, the utilization of the White Light, death, and the soul.
My answer is the source of this blog:

....Regarding the White Light, what it is and what it does, the source of it is Christ's healing energy -- portraits of him have always shown it, not as his aura, but a halo -- it is an energy that heals, protects, comforts, and raises the consciousness of where it is we choose to place it. Each of us has the natural ability -- power -- (although it's never been taught) to use it remotely through our mind, just as it is with meaningful prayer. However, we can take it one step farther with our mind's eye, by cocooning our subject in a bubble of White -- light, or energy -- establishing a Divine protection, inside and out, that cannot be penetrated by a negative source of any kind. It is safety.

As to the White Light and death, the actual decision to stay, or leave, is made at a soul level. Consciously or unconsciously, it is a decision made between the person and the Higher Self. If it is time to go, they go. As a by-stander, their reasons is not for us to know, It is not ours. We come into life with an agenda, a goal(s) for this life experience. and when they are met, we are finished. At least with this lifetime. However everything has it's own purpose. Even if the reason for leaving happens to be for those left behind.

With every breath in my body, I know there is no such thing as death, at least not in the way we think of it here. It is simply moving on to another life, or onto another dimension, leaving behind the cloak we need in order to survive on this earthly plane. Free spirits we are, seen as Light, we are free to do, and go, where we want. The more spiritually evolved, the brighter our essence.

I saw my dad soon after he died, and he was showing me that he was happy, doing what he loved most. He was fishing. "Really good fishing", he said as he cast out his line, and then he added "there's all sorts of critters over here".

As relieved as I was to see him, I was a bit taken back, not only by his spontaneous appearance, but also by his off-the-wall comments. I don't think I told anyone about it -- most especially not my mother, because I didn't know how she'd take it. She's always held the opinion I had alien blood running through my veins, and this would have cinched it! However, I realized the true reason I held the secrecy was a fear that the whole experience would be invalidated -- it definitely was not as anyone presupposed afterlife would be.
Many years later, not all that long before Mom died, I did tell her. Ironically, she was comforted by it, even thanked me for telling her, and then I wished I'd told her long ago.
He has been gone a long time now, some twenty-four years, and I've not seen him since. However, over and over again I have received various validations of "heaven" that catches my attention, such as it being the Fifth Dimension, and that it is true, now extinct animals from Earth have simply moved on to that plane, are very much alive and living peacefully over there....
Interesting.

I had the NDE in '86, and when I came back, not only my life changed, but I had changed. Everything looked different.
I don't remember all that much of what happened while I was out, it being similar to the dissipating details of a dream. However I am yet well aware of sitting in a small wooden rowboat, at what was probably early dawn, the muted orange, pinks and mauve sky beautifully reflecting the tranquil and serene ambiance in the still, quiet, rippleless waters. Sitting in front of me was a figure, his unseen face buried deep within the over-sized hood of his robe. I remember his asking me what I wanted to do. Whatever my answer, I was aware it was a choice, my call.
Obviously I came back, only to return to the emotional fight of my life -- a period when my life was turned completely upside down. It felt as though I was starting all over again, but with a newness I'd not experienced before, a literal recovery of who I was and what I wanted.
Had it not happened, I would not be who I am today, or doing what I do.
Since the experience, I've not feared death. True, I don't remember vivid details of the 'other side', but it did leave me with a calmness that is present with me today, an integrated knowing that there is nothing to fear. So it is that I began working with others to help them with their fears, holding the Light as they find their way, wherever it is their path takes them.

It's all about trust. Trust in an orderly Universe that says there are no accidents and that everything has its own purpose; trust that there is a loving God living within us, that we are connected to, and a part of, but is so much more powerfully magnanimous than we can ever phantom on this limited physical, material plane.
Trust is confidence. I have learned all I need do is ask, and somewhere, in some way, I receive answers. Truth feels right and thus I know I can trust.
Ultimately, the choice is mine to validate the validation. To believe or not to believe.
Oh yes, whether we think we do or not, there is always a choice...even with living and dying.

As to our gal who is in the process of coming to terms with her Higher Self, she presently has the essence of her mother around her, and a beloved aunt. Her son, who passed before her, is there, too -- appearing to her as he did when he was just a lad...I don't know why, perhaps that is a period when they were the closest, or how she best remembers him.... Dunno. It is hers.
When it is time to go, there will be other gentle spirits with her, lovingly helping her walk over the bridge into the Light.
She is not alone, nor will she be.

My heart is with you. I am a firm believer in prayer power of the White Light. All you need to do is think it, and it is there. It is easy. Use it. In helping her, it will also help you feel the peace.
Need validation? Ask. It'll come in some meaningful way. You'll know. That's a promise.

BLOG: " I WILL SURVIVE ..."

11/11/2014

We sat, she and I, at the long oak table facing the over-sized picture window that over looks the calming, healing sea, its white capped surf ceaselessly rolling in, and cleansing the sandy beach. Its cathartic rhythm peacefully lulls the soul as it recharges precious energies deep within our being.

She is a cancer survivor...and oh yes, I said survivor. Her journey with the disease has not been an easy one. Hardly. For over twelve years she has fought the inner silent enemy who's sole intent is to destroy her vital life force, claiming it as its own. Thus far it has failed. Why? Sitting back as an observer for these many years, the answer seems clear. Easy to diagnose. The vile disease has met its match with the competitive, determined, very being of the woman herself. It's not going to get her, she vows. Not now. Period.

She says it began with the initial visit with her doctor -- who although had diagnosed her with the cancers, did not inform her it was going to kill her. Never told her anything but hope that they could fight it, thereby giving her permission to live. And so she has.

Being a realistic person and not one to live in denial, she has made the decision not to allow the disease rule her life, and thus she has not. She has lived as normal a life as possible, thinking and doing, working and playing without internal rant and worry. Taking time out for necessary treatments through the years, she also gave herself the luxury of taking good care of herself -- emotionally, physically, and spiritually with her God, and the support of her family and many friends. She has lived in the present; stayed in the now by absorbing the moment, and doing, whatever it is she has wanted to do to enjoy her life.
She has not let cancer stop her from simply being, making a conscious choice of life over the prospect of death.

Scared? I'm sure she has her moments. It is natural to fear the unknown. But courage is initiated by both fear and determination. Fear brings out the best of us, as it propels us forward to fight the fight we never knew we had in us.

The power is in the imprint of the vow in our mind.
The power is in a determination that won't back down.
The power is in the intent -- the will.
The power is the mental fight that says no and means it.

It was Scarlet O'Hara who stood at the top of the hill overlooking the valley below, vowing as God was her witness, she would never be hungry again. So it is with this gal, her determined fist poking mightily into the air, as she claimed "I will survive this..... "

And I ask, how does one accurately translate that sort of determination and fight so that it can be understood?

BLOG: SELF-HEALING 101

10/3/2014

Truer words have not been spoken. We are what we THINK we are. We do what we THINK we can do. We achieve what we THINK is possible.
However, we are so much more than we've been taught to think we are. The power, our power, is within us. It is all in our mind.

See, hear, touch, feel and know -- each can be developed into becoming a sensitized vehicle for self awareness, and most of all, self-healing. It is due to our belief in the mere possibility of the force behind it.

"Okay", you say, "I can give it a try"....what do I have to lose? Disappointment when it doesn't work?"
As it is with anything we have true faith in -- or belief, or confidence -- we usually own it after being pushed to the brink, where faith/hope/determination is the only thing we have to cling to, and discover we can. It is through experiencing -- "been there, done it, believe it" -- that we integrate true faith within us.
It is the same with self-healing. It is by letting go, by getting out of our own way (ego/thinking) in order to let the God within you -- work 'miracles'. Miracles? I suppose they are, at least it is the way we've been taught to think of it, or perceive it to be...but we have had the healing power/ability all along, we simply were not aware we did, or perhaps we didn't believe (faith) in it....but it's always been there regardless.

"Okay", you say, "How do I begin? How do I tap into this healing power you say I have? Where, do I start?"
Do you want it? Do you need it? Then do it. Begin with the mind, the thinking...the WILL...the DETERMINATION...the INTENT to heal. The power is triggered in the mind with intention, and you start at that point.

Get quiet: Quiet the mind. Still it. Relax the body. And begin by closing your eyes and breathing deep. Breathe natural, but deep. Clear all thoughts except the intent to heal. Breathing deep, place your healing hand(s) over the area that is needing the attention. As you breathe in, intend to breathe in a white, healing energy working up through your body.....a healing energy that penetrates into every cell, molecule and throughout the ethers.....simply breathe it in. Cocoon yourself in this white healing energy...inside you, above you, below you, and all around you.
Do not think about it, do not wonder about it, keep the mind absent of any thoughts except knowing that the white energy is present and doing what it needs to do to heal.

Keep that left brain busy by repeating to yourself, over and over: I am healing myself now of pain, disease, dis-ease, discomfort, anxiety -- whatever,wherever it is that is needing to be healed, visualizing/thinking/knowing bringing that White light/energy into it, around it, devouring it.....

Think, say, healing positive affirmations over and over and over and over.Thoughts are energy. Positive or negative, they produce and manifest. I am safe. I am protected. I am loved, as I love and honor myself....
Ask for help -- you will receive it. You may feel it, you may not. It does not matter. Know that you are not alone because you are not.

You may feel your hands warming up -- and you may not -- if not, that does not mean it is not working. The healing ability is always there, however your sensitivity to its presence develops over time...as you use it and become confident (belief, faith) in your abilities. Forget about needing proof (ego). Forget about needing validation (ego). Just let the energy flow by keeping the mind quiet, clear of any doubts. Let go of resistance, negativity, doubt and simply breathe in the White.

"Okay:, you say, "How do you know this?"
I am telling you this from years and years of personal experience. It is not something that can be taught (left brained) -- such as reading "how to's" about it (like this!), or seminars, classes...It is developed though the right brain, and is learned/developed by doing it -- by being used, practiced, experienced...and most importantly the force behind it: belief.

It is used by connecting with our source within -- prayer -- usually, in the beginning when we need it the most, and we ask for it, by getting calm and quiet, by getting out of our own way(ego) and allow it to work through us...do you hear that? Work through us.
We become a living channel of healing energy that moves through us and out our hands,(and our aura or energyfeild).....
Put away resistance -- fear (illusion) -- and allow it to work through you without questioning (ego), without doubt (ego), without any mind input except knowing it's working.
Do so and it will.

This has nothing to do with religion. This is right-brained creative spirituality, utilizing the natural God-given senses, talents, and gifts we utilize within ourselves but have not developed.
It begins with your thinking: "I can do this."

Questions? You can always contact me with questions. Always.
I am here to help. I am here to help empower awareness in others. It's as simple as that.
This I know.

REPEAT: HEAL THY SELF -- PAC-MAN VISUALIZATION

9/24/2014

Attack, devour and destroy those cancer cells through self-healing creative visualization.....
VISUALIZE HUNGRY PAC-MAN MOVING THROUGH THE CELLS, MOLECULES, AND ETHERS -- GOBBLING UP THE TERRORIST CANCER CELLS. DESTROYING THEM FOREVER.
Self healing power is produced in the mind and the power of belief - faith -- in the process.
Only doubt will/can cancel it out.

Stay in the HOPE. Keep the attitude positive, avoid any negativity that will pull your mood, thoughts, attitudes and perceptions down.
You are your thoughts. Your physical health and body literally feed off them.
You are the healer. Believe it and you will be. Disbelieve and you won't.

Stay positive. Keep only upbeat people and situations around you. Avoid any negativity that will pull your thoughts, mood, attitude, perceptions down.
Affirm to yourself over and over and over, every time you feel doubt, or fear, or anxiety.....:
I lovingly release past hurts and disappointments. I choose to fill my thoughts, feelings, my life, my world with joy. I love and approve of myself.
I bring joy back to the center of my heart. I express love to myself, and all. Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, I am bringing into, and all through me, the pure, healing energy of joy.

I am safe. I am protected, I am a healer and I AM HEALING MYSELF.
I believe in miracles, and thus they are manifested for me.
I am a magnet and am pulling healing energies to me NOW.
I am healing myself...why? Because I can. I am in control.

"Waka-Waka-Waka-Waka-Waka-Waka-Waka"

BLOG: DRUM THE RHYTHM OF THE HEARTBEAT ......

9/23/2014

YAY!!
The sounds of drumming and turtle shell rattling, of chanting and singing filled the air, as the sounds of the surf danced its dance behind us -- Sunday night, the eve of the Fall Equinox.

'Twas a splendid time with beautiful people, creating potent energies of healing, joy, gratitude and appreciation for all that we honor and and love, and that is around us.

Thank you Judy and Joe and Sabine and Ursuela and Carol and Marilyn for making the moment a special one.
So, let's do it again....soon!

"I can feel your heartbeat, heart beat...."
A-ho.

DRUMMING ON THE BEACH -- come join us!

9/16/2014

Welcome! You are invited to
Come on down!
Drumming on the Beach,
Sunday, Sept 21st,
Gathering at dusk, 8 pm or so...
Bring your drum, or your rattle, or your tambourine,
or your flute, or the bottom of your Tupperware bowl to bongo away .....
Come for an evening to improvise your beat to the
sound of the surf, the silence of the moon,
and the sweet laughter of good company.
And life is good.

Contact Marilyn for address.
Bring your beach chair, or blanket, mat or rug to sit on .....

COMING IN SEPT -- MEDITATION CLASSES !! REGISTER NOW ...

8/21/2014

Yes!! It's that time again! . Meditation classes for self awareness and personal empowerment.
Openings, initiations, and new beginnings.
Are you game?

Eight consecutive week program of guided visual meditations structured for self discovery; body/mind/spirit unity, cleansing and healing; intuition development; and spiritual transformation.
Connect to, and meet, your sacred Spirit Guidance.

Sound good? Well, it's better than good. These inspirational, life changing, classes are great!
Please. Come join us!

Beginning: Sat, Sept 27th, 9 - Noon
Where? New Smyrna Beach (Oceanfront energies....Couldn't be any better!)
Cost: $25 per session.
Bring your blanket/pillow and drink...
Enrollment limited to six.

For more info, contact Marilyn www.HolisticCoachAndCounsel.com
For additional class description, see Meditation for Self Awareness Programs page of website.

BLOG: SELF TALK and PRAYER

7/23/2014

I am remembering a line comedienne Lilly Tomlin said some years back, and it struck me at the time as not only being funny, but also a rather profound truth -- enough so that it stuck with me.
Paraphrasing, it went something on this order: " When we talk to God, they say we're praying. But when we hear God talk to us, we're schitzophrenic" !!  I love it.

Recently I was fortunate enough to catch one of Oprah's Super Soul Sunday interviews with author Anne Lamonte talking about her recent book, "Help, Thank You, Wow", the three types of prayers we say, each having it's own distinctive purpose.

The first one, 'help', is obvious, a rescue call at those times when we believe ourselves to be powerless, helpless, to conditions or a situation. The second, is 'gratitude', a spoken/felt thanks for the goodness of life we have reaped in some manner or another; and the third? It's those times we've witnessed a scene, an event or a situation, that takes our breath away, touches our soul, and we exclaim to the Creator-of-it-all, "WOW!!!! Just look at what YOU did. Awesome!!"   Oh my. Now, that's my idea of spirituality.

I'm not touting the book to run out and buy it. It doesn't take a hundred pages to get the message of what she's speaking of, nor the truth within it. However, it does lead into writing about our self talk...and that's all prayer is, our communicating with God, or the Universe, or what,,or who, we believe to be our Higher Power (and is it absolutely necessary box it in with a title? It's all the same thing). Mentally, emotionally, or verbally, our self-talk speaks not only to ourselves, but also to our God, regardless of the message.   After all, that's what prayer is: talk powered by emotion, directed to someone/something we believe as being 'more' than we are . That power is within us, we are connected, and it listens.  It's as simple as that.

Which leads me straight into self-talk for self healing...body/mind/spirit are connected, and this 'trilogy' is always communicating with one another and working together. Just as we've not been taught of the potency of self-talk as to being instrumental to our virtual happiness and state of being, we've also not been taught about the power -- the potency -- of our thoughts and words for healing -- not just on ourselves, but it can be done 'remotely' for anyone, or anything, we focus our intent-to-heal energies on. The key word is 'intent'. Is it through prayer? Sure it is. That's what prayer is...communicating with our Higher Power with an intent for goodness and well being.

It's as simple as feeling it, thinking it, and allowing it to happen.               And there it is.

BLOG : SELF HEALING -- BELIEVE IT AND IT WILL BE.

5/30/2014

Attack, devour and destroy those cancer cells through self-healing creative visualization.....
VISUALIZE HUNGRY PAC-MAN MOVING THROUGH THE CELLS, MOLECULES, AND ETHERS -- GOBBLING UP THE TERRORIST CANCER CELLS. DESTROYING THEM FOREVER.
Self healing power is produced in the mind and the power of belief - faith -- in the process.
Only doubt will/can cancel it out.

Stay in the HOPE. Keep the attitude positive, avoid any negativity that will pull your mood, thoughts, attitudes and perceptions down.
You are your thoughts. Your physical health and body literally feed off them.
You are the healer. Believe it and you will be. Disbelieve and you won't.

Stay positive. Keep only upbeat people and situations around you. Avoid any negativity that will pull your thoughts, mood, attitude, perceptions down.
Affirm to yourself over and over and over, every time you feel doubt set in, or fear, or anxiety.....: I lovingly release past hurts and disappointments. I choose to fill my thoughts, feelings, my life, my world with joy. I love and approve of myself.
I bring joy back to the center of my heart. I express love to myself, and all. Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, I am bringing into, and all through me, the pure, healing energy of joy.

I am safe. I am protected, I am a healer and I AM HEALING MYSELF.
I believe in miracles, and thus they are manifested for me.
I am a magnet and am pulling healing energies to me NOW.
I am healing myself...why? Because I can. I am in control.

"Waka-Waka-Waka-Waka-Waka-Waka-Waka"

BLOG: RED LIGHTs/GREEN LIGHTs, your time is coming

5/29/2014

Hang on, Sweetheart, your time is coming, and you've done nothing wrong. It's just not the right time, that's all, or perhaps the mix isn't right, or perhaps there's better "stuff" waiting for you to be read for it, grow into it....

Yes, it's all about the timing, and at this moment, in this time, it isn't right. Everything thing has purpose. It, or something better, will come. that's the promise.

So, my dear, In the meantime, what can you do to help yourself with all these extreme feelings of the intense let down and disappointment, of feeling rejected and betrayed and abandoned by The Universe?

First and most important: allow yourself the luxury of GRIEVING all of it -- all the disappointment and sadness, the hopelessness and powerlessness, but most importantly, the anger. Let it all be heard by feeling them. You will be just fine. But, you say, you are in pain. You hurt.

And I say, yes, for now.

Don't stuff them. Don't bury them alive so you don't have to feel them. It doesn't work that way. You'll have a living, breathing zombie that will keep surfacing over and over to get your attention, to tell you SOMETHING IS WRONG. Free them by giving them their voice. They are only FEELINGS. No more, no less.

Acknowledge what you are feeling -- don't judge them -- they are what they are -- but give yourself the needed permission to give them their voice. Hear them through, feel them out, talk nice to them... embrace them....wallow in them if that's what it takes, it's okay. They are only telling you that you are hurting and that you're as mad as hell about it. Well, it's true, isn't it? Sure it is.

So cry your lake of tears, stomp your feet and curse the gods for letting you down. It is okay. They're only words. Feel what you're feeling but get them expressed, so you can come to terms with them -- they have their say, they deflate, and they disburse. It's true. And then what? HOPE. Hope is on the horizon. Hope for something new, something better....but it'll be there.... and the patience to wait for them.

Yep, there's something good waiting out there for you when the timing is as it is supposed to be. Everything in it's own time and in it's own way.....The Universe has it's own natural right order....

Yes there is. Your 'job', your responsibility, is to take care of you, to listen and nurture yourself in an emotional time of need, to stay off your back with negative criticism and judgment, and help move yourself along on your incredible life journey.

PATIENCE, GRASSHOPPER.....

The time will come; you will be ready. In hindsight, you will see....you will understand....you will know....

And that's a promise.

:))

BLOG: THE DANCING WOMAN

5/20/2014

Recorded in my journal today:
Monday, May 19th, 2014

Josh and I have been walking the beach evenings, after dark, when it's quiet, few on the beach, and 'tis simply a lovely time to walk and to be alone.
He looks so forward to it. He's a hard case tho, so bull headed -- he reminds me more of a horse than a dog.

Anyway, we walked south, down to Chase's last nite, at least a couple miles I'd think...and it was dark by the time we turned to head back, quite dark. There ahead of us, I saw a dark willowy figure that looked to be twirling, and as we got closer, I realized it was the silhouette of a slender woman in a long flowing skirt, her dark hair piled on top of her head, and she was dancing in the surf. The sight looked mystical, and beautiful, and actually seemed quite surreal. Reminded me of the man walking the beach after a full moon ceremony with 'the sisters' at Sanibel some years back...saw him actually evaporate before my eyes, saw the ultra blue neon aura outline him as he transformed to black, and then was simply gone...yep, that's what she reminded me of, only she didn't disappear. She simply twirled and twirled and twirled in a spiral, her long slim arms elegantly outstretched over her head, her gaze focused on the starlit heavens, as her fluid movement flowed easily with the sea breeze.... So into her moment she was, she did not stop, nor slow down, nor acknowledge our presence, as we passed by her. She did not seem to know we were there to not only witness, but experience, her moment, too.

Ummm-hmmm, not able to see 5 ft in front of me in the darkened lateness of the night; the moon not yet having risen above the horizon to give any light – but there was no mistaking it. I clearly saw her. I saw the dark silhouhetted vision of a lovely feminine beauty, spiraling, twirling, as she danced her dance into the wind, framed against the darkest of the blue, and the white capped waves crashed to the shore. Caught in the emotion of her movement, it seemed a special moment for both of us.
If Josh saw her, he made not a sound, nor did he show it.....

Was she really there? Dunno.
Ah yes, but 'twas another special moment worthy of recording.
So very, very interesting.

[artwork by arianne lallone]

BLOG: A JOURNEY FOR SELF-AWARENESS

5/14/2014

Sounds good, but perhaps a bit easy, doesn't it? Especially when others have had a big hand in molding us into who we 'should' be:
"I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am."

So just who are you? Really and truly, down deep and dirty. Do you 'like' you? And I don't mean the popular over-used term, love, I am meaning like .... accept.... appreciate .... honor....the you that you are?

There's tons of motivating reads out there on being the 'authentic self', and it sounds great, but after we put the book down, just how do we tap into that well of elusive self- awareness hiding some place deep inside us?

So take a survey on yourself, asking those who have been close to you, and not so close, who am I?
Step out there on that limb and ask your spouse or significant other who are you....ask your kids ..... ask your parents and siblings .... ask your best friends and not-so-best-friends...ask your favorite teacher and the one who didn't know you existed.....ask an enemy or two....see who it is they think you are. Will they all share the same opinion of this person? What adjectives did they use describing you as to who, and how, you are, and if you are 'likeable'.....? Most likely they all a different version of who you are.
However, actually, it matters not a whit what any of them think. Your authentic self counts only in your own eyes. Your sense of worthiness is yours to evaluate. Am I true to myself? You find and follow your own code of truth, and others will follow.

The bottom line is, do you like you? And make no mistake, we know. If we dodge the question because we do not like what we know, then we have to ask, 'why not?' and 'just what can I do to change?' Before we can accept being our 'true' self, we have to do some honest self-work. We have to take a close look at who we've been, and how we've lived, asking, probing, questioning...evaluating, culling out the chaff....and is it an honest reflection of who I really am?
And the journey into self discovery begins.

Easy said, easy read? Sure it is. However, it is more than a possibility. Answers to our questions are waiting to be discovered, and with a new understanding, and acceptance, we are able to put the past where in needs to be, behind us, and move on to positive new beginnings, with new outcomes. Healthy, Confident, Happy and Contented.... Why? Because it's not life that's changed, we have.
Oh yes, it can be done.
Life is good and so it is. :))

You are not alone. We can walk the journey for self-awareness and personal empowerment together: individual coach/counseling sessions; weekly meditation classes; workshops and seminars for self-awareness and personal empowerment
Contact Marilyn. www.HolisticCoachAndCounsel.com

BLOG: US, LIFE, AND THE MIRRORED EFFECT .....

5/12/2014

Whatever is happening on our inside -- thoughts, feelings, attitudes and perceptions -- will be reflected on our outside, or that which we know as being reality, the outer world. Inside, outside. It's as simple as that.

We are a mirror. Think about it.
If we feel good about ourselves -- and believe it -- we pull to us the people, and life circumstances, that validate our goodness.  If we have a negative attitude about ourselves, or of life, we will be presented with the people, situations and circumstances, to reveal the same, in this case the negativity.  Make no mistake. The mirroring effect is not a judgment call, but merely an honest reflection of where we are and what we are doing within ourselves.  It is focused, concentrated energy of our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, actions, attitudes and perceptions . It's ours to evaluate

What we put out, is what we get back, and it is the workings of the natural Law of Attraction -- physics -- of what we think, how and when we think it, and to the degree of the intent and belief empowering them.  The state of ourselves is revealed to us, and anyone else astute enough to be in the know, through the manifestation of our personal relationships, life circumstances and situations.  Do we take heed by stopping long enough for an earnest look at just exactly what's going on in there? Usually not, but it is usually because we are not aware of the interior dynamics. Once we know it, understand it, we have no excuse.

It takes some honest self-analysis. What do we want? Happiness? Contentment? Acceptance? Love? Appreciation? Before we can live it, we have to become it....and as we change the out inner process, watch the validating mirrored manifestation begin, right before your eyes, and your heart. Nice.

:))))
(art work of Jan James.)

BLOG: PICKING UP THE PIECES OF THE SELF AND MOVING ON

5/9/2014

I've had interesting conversations over the last week with a young woman who currently at a pivotal point of a major lifestyle change. Will she bite the bullet and go through with it? As a preface to this piece, I worked as a counselor and group facilitator in a woman's shelter for several years, and her story is a familiar one.
She lives with an abuser, is the mother of a pre-schooler, and caught in a maze with only minimal work abilities, and no healthy survival skills. ..she says she wants to 'get out of here', but is clueless as to how, nor does she have the necessary confidence in herself, or life, that she could possibly take on the total responsibility of not only her child, but herself. She does not realize that she is already doing it. The husband has total control over her -- withholding all financial support, and with his constant belittling and demeaning rants, her self-confidence, and respect, sits at zero -- emotionally and financially, she is held hostage.
None of this is new. The story is old -- different names, but the picture is the same.

It is easy for those of us not in the same difficult situation to sit back on our haughty haunches and critically ask: why do you stay?! Easy say, easy does? Nope, not quite.
There is always more than meets the eye to the complex situation such as this, much more than can be recorded in a blog such as this...such as defining our concept of what love is, our habits and emotional/relationship addictions, not to mention the chemical toxicities such as alcohol and/or drugs....etc.

However, it is to understand that this woman, and others, do not have the self-confidence that they CAN leave, and so continue choose to live in a valley of fear -- fear of the husband, fear of the consequences if they DO leave, fearing of the responsibility of making a drastic mistake, but most of all, it is the overwhelming factors of facing the abyss of a future unknown.

Always the optimist, they stay, hoping against hope he will come to his senses and miraculously change becoming the prince she's always wanted, praying the chaotic situation will simply melt away as Dorothy's green wicked witch in Oz did and then they can will live happily ever after....
Unfortunately, it does not work that way. In fact, the crisis lifestyle cycle generally worsens, repeating itself over and over, only occurring in shorter spans of time -- his perpetual mentally/psychologically message, berating her of her worthlessness, that she definitely does not deserve him, and she could never make it out there on her own without him -- 'if it weren't for me you'd in the streets....'. And his heaviest artillery? He will make certain she will lose custody of her children.
And she believes him. He has her convinced. She's a loser....or so she thinks of herself.
So she stays, and does whatever it takes to not upset the apple cart, to not make waves, nothing to upset him or the household....and always, always, hoping she can fix the situation.

When she finally reaches out, asks for help -- with good counsel and encouragement, with positive feedback and basic education about abuse, with the insight that she can help herself and her child(ren) -- perhaps she will leave. It is her choice -- as is her decision to stay -- which is not unusual. The idea of change is a dream; actually setting it in motion is too much to handle.

Statistics tell us it takes her an average of leaving seven times before making the final break. Although even though she goes back, each time she leaves again, she gains a little more confidence in herself; each time mustering up more courage and foresight validating that she CAN leave, and that she really can make a new life for herself and her family. Yes. It can be done. The journey is an intense one, as it pulls, and severs, a tremendous number of emotional strings. It is not easy, but the destination of self respect and confidence is well worth it.

Our concepts of self-worthiness and our being lovable is a learned one, generally programmed within us at an early age. Life is a mirror. It is to understand that through our judgments and choices we make, we are choosing our life circumstances and situations -- literally our realities and our futures -- whether for the good or ill, and in these circumstances we will remain until we are ready to do what it takes to make the positive changes for our life.

As counselors, we, too, are eternal optimists....always hopefully she will get her belly full enough that she refuses to take more of it, that she has the will to pick up her family and escape the toxic emotional/psychological/financial confinement and move in a direction that leads to a healthy, fulfilling life for all of them. Greener grasses are waiting out there in front of her, if she so chooses to come out of the cave to see it.... And then, of course, if she has learned to think enough of herself that she does not need to run to another for more of the same.
:))

BLOG: "HERE IS A TEST TO FIND WHETHER YOUR MISSION ON EARTH IS FINISHED: IF YOU ARE ALIVE, IT ISN'T." RICHARD BACH/ILLUSIONS

5/8/2014

The one thing I hear over and over in workshops, in groups, and individual sessions, has to do with our 'test' in life, 'fulfilling' our mission and not wanting to 'miss' our path. The answer? We will not, and cannot, miss our chosen path. The key word is 'chosen', and as along as we have the desire, the courage, and the commitment to live responsibly to the self-truth as we learn it, we cannot go wrong -- whichever 'path' we chose to follow. We will end up in the same place, perhaps just taking a detour every now and then.
The day we are finished with learning what we have come to learn in this particular life experience, is the day we make our exit. It is not a physical decision, but one that is made at the soul level.

Every day that we are living on this dimension, on this Earth, we have ample opportunities to learn -- it could be something as simple as learning to enjoy this place, enjoy the connection we have with it, through the people, the animals and various critters, the breathing of the planet itself. It could be we are here to learn to love -- or allow ourselves to be loved -- in the way that we need it. It could be that we are here to accept, tolerate, appreciate, and respect the differences between ourselves and others -- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually....
It could even be something as simple as to live life and utilize our natural talents and abilities for expression.

On a deeper level, it could be that we are here to learn to love ourselves, and not allow anyone to trod over us, to hurt us, to demean or depreciate the delicacy of who we are -- learn to overcome early negative programming, put it aside by standing up for the self and moving on, never allowing it to occur again -- only to vibrate to a higher octave self-approval and acceptance and improving the quality of life. A test? Perhaps...

Or on the other side of that same coin, just as importantly, perhaps it is to learn to recognize that we have become the abuser, and it is to correct the early negative programming, learn that it's okay to put down the heavy handed sword protecting the heart, and to expose that vulnerable soft-side of the self that is, and always has been, within.

We could be here to learn through life circumstances to sit down and shut up, or stand up and speak up. We know which it is we need to do.....

Life is a self-help opportunity to learn, to grow and evolve into becoming whatever it is that our soul-level dictates of us...and like it or not, sooner or later we comply.
Do we 'fail'? Nope. 'Tis true, due to our irresponsible choices, judgements and behaviors, over lifetimes we can delay the 'graduation', or perhaps be demoted to replay the 'grade' again and again until we 'get it' -- not all that different than is amusingly portrayed in "Groundhog Day" .... however the Universe is patient, and eventually we evolve.

The Law of Cause and Effect, more commonly known as KARMA, does not judge -- it gives us our 'just reward' that we have earned by our past and present deeds, actions, non-actions, attitudes and perceptions that we live by...always giving us opportunity to relearn and reprogram the consciousness to express, and live, in a way that reflects the higher vibrated light of our soul.

So let's keep it simple -- just live to love, enjoy, appreciate, and be responsible to the self -- and others. It is not a test, it is a lifestyle. Sooner or later, we will get there. It is okay, and all is well. Truly is. :))

COWBOY UP AND TAKE THE RISK ......

5/7/2014

Fear is an illusion -- it is merely our imagination running rampant, scaring us silly about something that COULD happen -- in the negative of course -- and always with the worst outcome, yes?

Working through the process:
What do I want for me and what change(s) would it take to achieve it? What would be the consequences? Is it worth the risk?

Overwhelmed with what it'll take to do what would need to be done?
Halt. Don't go 'out there' feeding the fears in an imaginary scenario...stay in the moment and climb that potential ladder one step at a time. If in the end it does not work out as we had envisioned? Well, at least we tried, and now we know. If it does work out? Well,, well, well, how about that? We did it.

Bottom line: Think it through. Balance the heart and the head.
Still want it? What's the loss in trying? Go for it.